The Power Within: It's What You Don't See

Note: This article discusses themes of emotional neglect, trauma, and childhood invalidation. Please read with care and tend to yourself as needed.

If you read our last reflection on “In the Waiting Line of Life,” you know that sometimes the outer world stalls, and life feels like it’s on hold. This week, we explore what’s been quietly waiting—not out there, but inside of you. If you’re someone who has always felt unseen, misread, or silenced—even by those closest to you—this piece is for you.

There’s More Than Meets the Eye

“You don’t find your worth in a mirror or another’s eyes. You find it when you remember who you were before the world taught you to forget.”  - Live Well Live Whole ™

There is the world you see—and the world you sense but don’t see. One is visible, tangible, and external. The other lives within you: quiet, mysterious, often dismissed, but powerful beyond measure.

Some call this internal space the soul. Others know it as the unconscious, Spirit, God, the Universe, Higher Power or Higher Self. Whatever your language or belief, there’s a deeper knowing—a source of resilience and wisdom that doesn’t shout—it whispers. It doesn’t force itself upon us. It beckons us to tune in and listen, intently and intentionally. And yet, it can change the course of our actions and outcomes.

Want to change your life? To break through patterns that cling with the strength of a vice grip?Go within.

Need strength, clarity, courage, or guidance?Go within.

Have you ever locked eyes with someone and felt an unspoken truth pass between you—no words, just understanding? Ever helped a child or an animal and received a silent, soul-deep gratitude that no language could express? That’s the power within at work. It’s what you don’t see—but always sense.

The Three Worlds of Experience

The way I see it, we navigate life through three distinct yet overlapping realms:

• The External World – jobs, roles, circumstances, relationships, outcomes, and our physical selves. These include perceptions shaped by physical appearance, societal norms, and external validation.

• The Internal World – thoughts, beliefs, emotions, memories, nervous system patterns; internalized survival messages that shape how we see ourselves and others.

• The Unseen/Mystical World – intuition, energy, spirit, the sacred, the felt-sense of something more.

These layers don’t compete—they collaborate. The problem is, most of us are taught to focus only on the external: control what you can, push harder, get results, grind. But the most lasting change begins where no one else can see it—inside of you.

CBT: The Thought-Feeling-Behavior Loop

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) reminds us that thoughts create feelings, and feelings drive behaviors. When you internalize distorted or limiting beliefs—especially from childhood—they shape how you see yourself and the world.

·      Thought: I’m not enough

·      Feeling: Shame or anxiety

·      Behavior: Withdrawal, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or self-sabotage

By identifying and reframing automatic thoughts, CBT helps you disrupt that loop. Healing starts by becoming aware of what you’ve absorbed—and choosing something truer and kinder.

Mindfulness: Learning to Listen Inside

Mindfulness brings us home to the present moment. It teaches us to observe without judgment, to sit with discomfort, and to notice the patterns that drive us.

It opens the door to the internal and unseen realms—the places where answers rise, peace returns, and emotional regulation begins.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose…” – Viktor Frankl

Mindfulness expands that space. And in that space, there is power.

DBT: Wise Mind and Holding Opposites

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) introduces the idea of Wise Mind—a place between the emotional and rational mind, where intuition and truth live.

When you’re hurting, DBT teaches you that you can feel two things at once:

·      This is hard, AND I can survive it.

·      I’m afraid, AND I’m moving forward.

·      I feel rejected, AND I know my worth isn’t dependent on others.

DBT’s four pillars—mindfulness, emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and distress tolerance—help you self-resource from within. The deeper you go, the steadier you become.

Narrative Therapy: Rewriting the Story You Inherited

Narrative Therapy invites us to separate ourselves from the problem. You are not broken. You are not the role your family assigned you.

If you were the scapegoat or identified patient in an emotionally immature or abusive family system, your internal world was likely shaped by untruths. Even if you understand intellectually that the way you were treated was unjust, emotionally it may still feel like something is wrong with you.

This distortion can make you internalize rejection in every experience:

·      A partner is distant → I’m not lovable

·      A job falls through → I’m a failure

·      A friend forgets → They don’t care about me

This isn’t reality—it’s an old story.

Narrative therapy asks: - Who told you that story?- How did it shape you?- What story do you now choose to live by?

When You Were Gaslit as a Child

What happens when your inner world was never mirrored, named, or protected?

When adults were emotionally immature, you may not have been allowed to: - Name your feelings- Express needs without punishment- Set boundaries without backlash- Be seen, heard, or respected as your full self

Instead, you were told: - “You’re too sensitive.”- “That didn’t happen.”- “You always overreact.”- “Why can’t you be more like so-and-so?”

This is gaslighting, and when it happens in childhood, it disorients your internal compass. You begin to distrust your feelings, needs, and even your reality. You may grow into adulthood detached from your own intuition, unsure of whether what you feel is valid.

You don’t just carry the wounds—you carry the belief that you’re not allowed to feel wounded.  You internalize the injury protecting others and blaming or ignoring yourself. You become detached from your internal self. You abandon your inner world and look outward for validation. Because being accepted coupled with the fear of being alone is scarier than betraying yourself.

The Void and the Vacant Self

When emotions are invalidated and boundaries don’t exist, you may disappear from yourself—not consciously, but to survive. Feelings aren’t safe. You are rejected. Who you are is flawed and defective—according to the story you were told.  And because they held the power to meet your basic needs, their opinion felt like fact.

Add in systemic issues or family dynamics—poverty, racism, instability—and trauma pulls up, moves in, and sets up a silent shop of self-doubt, abandonment, and even self-destruction.

This leads to what many describe as a void—a vacant self, a sense of numbness, of being on autopilot. You might be functioning—even successful—but emotionally absent. Aliveness, vitality, excitement becomes something you witness in others, not something you feel.

You may develop: - Dissociation – disconnecting from your feelings or body- Numbing – through substances, work, perfection, shopping, or busyness- Overfunctioning – being the fixer, caretaker, achiever, or comforter- Co-dependence – defining yourself through others’ needs- People-pleasing – shrinking yourself to avoid disapproval

These are survival strategies—not character flaws. But they disconnect you from your intuition and truth.

You deserve to know presence and safety within yourself—and to find your way back home to your Self – your true essence.

Going Within When the Outside Fails

Sometimes, life feels like it’s stacked against you. You’ve done all the things. Nothing shifts. The situation is unbearable. You’re exhausted. Confused. Why is it so hard? Why can’t you finish what you start? Why haven’t you achieved success?

And then—something quiet happens. You decide: - To breathe- To stay

-To anchor within yourself - To tell yourself the truth- To choose you

That shift—unseen and invisible—ripples outward. Not with fireworks, but with momentum. With steady, sacred gravity. That’s power. That’s the unseen, working from within.

What You Can Try Today: Practices to Access the Power Within

1. Mindfulness PracticeSit quietly for 3 minutes. Notice your breath. Ask: - What am I feeling?- What do I need right now?- What is in my hands that can move me forward – right now?

2. Reframe (CBT Practice)- Thought: I’m always rejected.- Challenge: Is that 100% true?- New Thought: Sometimes I feel rejected, but I am learning that my worth is not up for debate.

3. Assess Your Story (Narrative Practice)- What story have I been living that isn’t mine?- What would it look like to choose a new story?

4. Check In With Yourself (DBT Practice)- What really happened?- What’s the story I’m telling myself?- Is there another way to see it?

5. Build Your Trusted Circle- A good therapist- Mentors who pour into others- Emotionally healthy, self-aware people

6. Build a Daily Practice- Check in with yourself daily- Keep your word to yourself- Care for yourself—mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and creatively- Learn to trust yourself again

Closing: You Are Not What They Couldn’t Give

The emotional rejection you received was never a reflection of your worth. You may have absorbed it as truth, but it was always a lie—based on the brokenness of those responsible for shaping your sacredness.

What you don’t see—your wisdom, your courage, your sacred energy—is more real than what hurt you. You are allowed to rewrite the story. You are allowed to be seen—first by yourself.

You are not the wound. You are the healer. Healing is an inside-out job.You are not the rejection. You are the love you’ve always needed.You are not broken. You are becoming.

The spirit within you has never forgotten who you are. Even when you went numb. Even when you disappeared. The unseen power within you waits patiently—for your return.

Because this life is your one life to make your best live—

Live Well. Live Whole.